Thank You for Everything

⚠ Genuinely offensive · No refunds on friendships · You will get disinvited from Thanksgiving · HR has been notified · 18+ only · ⚠ Genuinely offensive · No refunds on friendships · You will get disinvited from Thanksgiving · HR has been notified · 18+ only ·

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For your landlord

Thanks for fixing the heat in only eleven months. The mold and I got so close that it’s on the lease now. It pays more than I do.

hrviolationcards.com · no. 011

Shipping and handling included. Plain unmarked envelope, like contraband.

Card no. 011 · Family & Home

Who actually buys this card

Renters with a box fan and a dream
Anyone who’s called “my guy” four times about one leak
Security-deposit optimists

If any of those are you, this is your card. Blank inside the back cover so you can make it worse in your own handwriting. Every inside is stamped hrviolationcards.com, so the recipient knows exactly where to send the invoice for their therapy.

Pick your poison

Same sweet front. Three different knives.

The front stays innocent; that’s what lines up the punch. Choose which inside does the damage.

The original

For your landlord

Thank You for Everything

Thanks for fixing the heat in only eleven months. The mold and I got so close that it’s on the lease now. It pays more than I do.

hrviolationcards.com · no. 011

$19.99 Order the original

Take two

For your landlord

Thank You for Everything

Thanks for the “cosmetic” crack that eats pens. The building is structurally interesting, but you cash the rent on time, and consistency matters.

hrviolationcards.com · no. 011

$19.99 Order take two

Take three

For your landlord

Thank You for Everything

Thank you for finally replacing the smoke detector battery. The chirp and I were together longer than most of my relationships.

hrviolationcards.com · no. 011

$19.99 Order take three

Satire disclaimer, please actually read this

These cards are satire, and extreme satire at that. They are jokes, written to be as outrageous as possible, and they are not statements of fact about any person, boss, professor, teacher, coworker, clergy member, or company. Nothing on a card describes a real event, and no card is directed at any real individual.

To be completely clear: workplace harassment, abuse of power, and quid pro quo demands are real problems and we do not endorse, encourage, or make light of actual misconduct. The joke is the absurdity of saying the unsayable in a glitter-adjacent greeting card, not the misconduct itself.

Cards contain adult language and themes. Intended for buyers 18 and older who know their audience. If you hand one of these to someone with no sense of humor, HR, or your grandmother, that outcome is entirely on you.