⚠ Genuinely offensive  ·  No refunds on friendships  ·  You will get disinvited from Thanksgiving  ·  HR has been notified  ·  18+ only  ·  ⚠ Genuinely offensive  ·  No refunds on friendships  ·  You will get disinvited from Thanksgiving  ·  HR has been notified  ·  18+ only  · 
HR Violation Cards
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Boss birthday card front artwork

Thanks for not making me give you a blowjob to get my promotion. The bar was on the floor, and you cleared it. Happy birthday, boss.

hrviolationcards.com · no. 001
Shipping and handling included. Plain unmarked envelope, like contraband.
Card no. 001 · Work

Who actually buys this card

  • The direct report who lived to tell about it
  • The work bestie escaping to a new job who can finally say it
  • The whole team, one card, fourteen unhinged signatures

If any of those are you, this is your card. Blank inside the back cover so you can make it worse in your own handwriting. Every inside is stamped hrviolationcards.com, so the recipient knows exactly where to send the invoice for their therapy.

More Work damage
Happy Birthday to Our HR Manager!Congratulations on the Big Promotion!Merry Christmas, Boss
Pick your poison

Same sweet front. Three different knives.

The front stays innocent; that’s what lines up the punch. Choose which inside does the damage.

The original
Boss birthday card front artwork

Thanks for not making me give you a blowjob to get my promotion. The bar was on the floor, and you cleared it. Happy birthday, boss.

hrviolationcards.com · no. 001
$19.99 Order the original
Take two
Boss birthday card front artwork

Happy birthday to the only boss I’ve ever had that I’d testify for. Don’t let it go to your head; the competition was a police lineup.

hrviolationcards.com · no. 001
$19.99 Order take two
Take three
Boss birthday card front artwork

You know everything I’ve said about you behind your back. That’s right: nothing actionable. Happy birthday, boss.

hrviolationcards.com · no. 001
$19.99 Order take three

Satire disclaimer, please actually read this

These cards are satire, and extreme satire at that. They are jokes, written to be as outrageous as possible, and they are not statements of fact about any person, boss, professor, teacher, coworker, clergy member, or company. Nothing on a card describes a real event, and no card is directed at any real individual.

To be completely clear: workplace harassment, abuse of power, and quid pro quo demands are real problems and we do not endorse, encourage, or make light of actual misconduct. The joke is the absurdity of saying the unsayable in a glitter-adjacent greeting card, not the misconduct itself.

Cards contain adult language and themes. Intended for buyers 18 and older who know their audience. If you hand one of these to someone with no sense of humor, HR, or your grandmother, that outcome is entirely on you.