Happy Birthday to Our HR Manager!

⚠ Genuinely offensive · No refunds on friendships · You will get disinvited from Thanksgiving · HR has been notified · 18+ only · ⚠ Genuinely offensive · No refunds on friendships · You will get disinvited from Thanksgiving · HR has been notified · 18+ only ·

← All cards

Tap the card to open it

For HR

Happy Birthday to Our HR Manager!

Thanks for shredding my complaint personally instead of delegating it. Around here, that counts as being heard.

hrviolationcards.com · no. 006

Shipping and handling included. Plain unmarked envelope, like contraband.

Card no. 006 · Work

Who actually buys this card

Coworkers who’ve filed and been filed on
The person whose complaint became a “coaching opportunity”
Anyone who’s heard the shredder run at 5 p.m.

If any of those are you, this is your card. Blank inside the back cover so you can make it worse in your own handwriting. Every inside is stamped hrviolationcards.com, so the recipient knows exactly where to send the invoice for their therapy.

Pick your poison

Same sweet front. Three different knives.

The front stays innocent; that’s what lines up the punch. Choose which inside does the damage.

The original

For HR

Happy Birthday to Our HR Manager!

Thanks for shredding my complaint personally instead of delegating it. Around here, that counts as being heard.

hrviolationcards.com · no. 006

$19.99 Order the original

Take two

For HR

Happy Birthday to Our HR Manager!

You’re the only person in this building whose door closes all the way. We’ve noticed. We’ve all noticed. Happy birthday.

hrviolationcards.com · no. 006

$19.99 Order take two

Take three

For HR

Happy Birthday to Our HR Manager!

Happy birthday from all of us, exactly as it appears in the file you keep on each of us.

hrviolationcards.com · no. 006

$19.99 Order take three

Satire disclaimer, please actually read this

These cards are satire, and extreme satire at that. They are jokes, written to be as outrageous as possible, and they are not statements of fact about any person, boss, professor, teacher, coworker, clergy member, or company. Nothing on a card describes a real event, and no card is directed at any real individual.

To be completely clear: workplace harassment, abuse of power, and quid pro quo demands are real problems and we do not endorse, encourage, or make light of actual misconduct. The joke is the absurdity of saying the unsayable in a glitter-adjacent greeting card, not the misconduct itself.

Cards contain adult language and themes. Intended for buyers 18 and older who know their audience. If you hand one of these to someone with no sense of humor, HR, or your grandmother, that outcome is entirely on you.