We'll Miss You So Much! — HR Violation Cards

⚠ Genuinely offensive · No refunds on friendships · You will get disinvited from Thanksgiving · HR has been notified · 18+ only · ⚠ Genuinely offensive · No refunds on friendships · You will get disinvited from Thanksgiving · HR has been notified · 18+ only ·

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Tap the card to open it

Executive farewell

We’ll Miss You So Much!

Congrats on “pursuing new opportunities.” The NDA means none of us can say why, and that’s the fun part.

hrviolationcards.com · no. 009

Shipping and handling included. Plain unmarked envelope, like contraband.

Card no. 009 · Work

Who actually buys this card

The surviving team
The person who saw the calendar invite titled “Quick Sync”
Whoever inherits the ex-exec’s projects

If any of those are you, this is your card. Blank inside the back cover so you can make it worse in your own handwriting. Every inside is stamped hrviolationcards.com, so the recipient knows exactly where to send the invoice for their therapy.

Pick your poison

Same sweet front. Three different knives.

The front stays innocent; that’s what lines up the punch. Choose which inside does the damage.

The original

Executive farewell

We’ll Miss You So Much!

Congrats on “pursuing new opportunities.” The NDA means none of us can say why, and that’s the fun part.

hrviolationcards.com · no. 009

$19.99 Order the original

Take two

Executive farewell

We’ll Miss You So Much!

You said you’d land on your feet. With that severance, you could land on someone else’s. Good luck out there.

hrviolationcards.com · no. 009

$19.99 Order take two

Take three

Executive farewell

We’ll Miss You So Much!

“Restructuring” is such a cold word for what you did to this place. Anyway, the team signed below, mostly legibly.

hrviolationcards.com · no. 009

$19.99 Order take three

Satire disclaimer, please actually read this

These cards are satire, and extreme satire at that. They are jokes, written to be as outrageous as possible, and they are not statements of fact about any person, boss, professor, teacher, coworker, clergy member, or company. Nothing on a card describes a real event, and no card is directed at any real individual.

To be completely clear: workplace harassment, abuse of power, and quid pro quo demands are real problems and we do not endorse, encourage, or make light of actual misconduct. The joke is the absurdity of saying the unsayable in a glitter-adjacent greeting card, not the misconduct itself.

Cards contain adult language and themes. Intended for buyers 18 and older who know their audience. If you hand one of these to someone with no sense of humor, HR, or your grandmother, that outcome is entirely on you.