Thanks, Doc

⚠ Genuinely offensive · No refunds on friendships · You will get disinvited from Thanksgiving · HR has been notified · 18+ only · ⚠ Genuinely offensive · No refunds on friendships · You will get disinvited from Thanksgiving · HR has been notified · 18+ only ·

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Tap the card to open it

For your doctor

Thanks for believing my symptoms the first time instead of the fifth, and for never once saying “yoga.” You are, medically speaking, one in a million, which is also the odds the last guy gave my diagnosis.

hrviolationcards.com · no. 010

Shipping and handling included. Plain unmarked envelope, like contraband.

Card no. 010 · Health & Faith

Who actually buys this card

Chronic illness veterans
Anyone diagnosed on the fifth opinion
People whose group chat knows their labs by heart

If any of those are you, this is your card. Blank inside the back cover so you can make it worse in your own handwriting. Every inside is stamped hrviolationcards.com, so the recipient knows exactly where to send the invoice for their therapy.

Pick your poison

Same sweet front. Three different knives.

The front stays innocent; that’s what lines up the punch. Choose which inside does the damage.

The original

For your doctor

Thanks, Doc

hrviolationcards.com · no. 010

$19.99 Order the original

Take two

For your doctor

Thanks, Doc

Thanks for reading my chart before walking in. I could tell, because you didn’t open with a guess. Medicine!

hrviolationcards.com · no. 010

$19.99 Order take two

Take three

For your doctor

Thanks, Doc

You listened for nine whole minutes. My last doctor billed that as a comprehensive workup. You’re one of one.

hrviolationcards.com · no. 010

$19.99 Order take three

Satire disclaimer, please actually read this

These cards are satire, and extreme satire at that. They are jokes, written to be as outrageous as possible, and they are not statements of fact about any person, boss, professor, teacher, coworker, clergy member, or company. Nothing on a card describes a real event, and no card is directed at any real individual.

To be completely clear: workplace harassment, abuse of power, and quid pro quo demands are real problems and we do not endorse, encourage, or make light of actual misconduct. The joke is the absurdity of saying the unsayable in a glitter-adjacent greeting card, not the misconduct itself.

Cards contain adult language and themes. Intended for buyers 18 and older who know their audience. If you hand one of these to someone with no sense of humor, HR, or your grandmother, that outcome is entirely on you.