Thanks for scheduling your medical emergency outside open enrollment. The paperwork would have destroyed us. Heal fast, you inconsiderate legend.
If any of those are you, this is your card. Blank inside the back cover so you can make it worse in your own handwriting. Every inside is stamped hrviolationcards.com, so the recipient knows exactly where to send the invoice for their therapy.
The front stays innocent; that’s what lines up the punch. Choose which inside does the damage.
Thanks for scheduling your medical emergency outside open enrollment. The paperwork would have destroyed us. Heal fast, you inconsiderate legend.
Get well soon. Your out-of-office reply has started answering questions better than you did.
The good news: everyone misses you. The better news: your plants are dead and your parking spot has a new family. Heal fast.
These cards are satire, and extreme satire at that. They are jokes, written to be as outrageous as possible, and they are not statements of fact about any person, boss, professor, teacher, coworker, clergy member, or company. Nothing on a card describes a real event, and no card is directed at any real individual.
To be completely clear: workplace harassment, abuse of power, and quid pro quo demands are real problems and we do not endorse, encourage, or make light of actual misconduct. The joke is the absurdity of saying the unsayable in a glitter-adjacent greeting card, not the misconduct itself.
Cards contain adult language and themes. Intended for buyers 18 and older who know their audience. If you hand one of these to someone with no sense of humor, HR, or your grandmother, that outcome is entirely on you.