You know too much to just walk free. Enjoy the silence. I’ll be telling the next one it was all my mother’s fault, exactly as we rehearsed.
If any of those are you, this is your card. Blank inside the back cover so you can make it worse in your own handwriting. Every inside is stamped hrviolationcards.com, so the recipient knows exactly where to send the invoice for their therapy.
The front stays innocent; that’s what lines up the punch. Choose which inside does the damage.
You know too much to just walk free. Enjoy the silence. I’ll be telling the next one it was all my mother’s fault, exactly as we rehearsed.
Enjoy retirement! May your own thoughts be kinder to you than mine were, Tuesdays at 4, for six years.
You retire; I go back to being “a lot” at parties. This is on you. Happy retirement.
These cards are satire, and extreme satire at that. They are jokes, written to be as outrageous as possible, and they are not statements of fact about any person, boss, professor, teacher, coworker, clergy member, or company. Nothing on a card describes a real event, and no card is directed at any real individual.
To be completely clear: workplace harassment, abuse of power, and quid pro quo demands are real problems and we do not endorse, encourage, or make light of actual misconduct. The joke is the absurdity of saying the unsayable in a glitter-adjacent greeting card, not the misconduct itself.
Cards contain adult language and themes. Intended for buyers 18 and older who know their audience. If you hand one of these to someone with no sense of humor, HR, or your grandmother, that outcome is entirely on you.